I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
