I seem to have left my pride at pride
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
