Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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