your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
