Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
