I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
