Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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