We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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