Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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