i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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