I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
