i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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