i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
