So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
