it hurts more in the daytime
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
