I hope mine doesn't look like that
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
