Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
