You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
