I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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