The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
