peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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