I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
