I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
