David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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