You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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