My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
