oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
