I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
