real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
