I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
