WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
