you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You are the jesus of drinking
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
