in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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