how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
