He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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