im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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