Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
