It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize