I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
