I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
