My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
