Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
