very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
