I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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