just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
