I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
