he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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