How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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