My friends, they love my intelligence
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
