If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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