We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
